A major objection!

I received the following email from a beloved Aunt earlier this evening. But as the title of this blog post states, I have a major objection to the contents of the email. The email was received as follows:

100% Oklahoman

1. You can properly pronounce Eufaula, Gotebo, Okemah, and Chickasha.

2. You think that people who complain about the wind in their states are sissies.

3. A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel.

4. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.

5. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

6. You know that the true value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door, but by the availability of shade.

7. Stores don't have bags, they have sacks.

8. You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.

9. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.

10. You measure distance in minutes.

11. You refer to the capital of Oklahoma as "The City."

12. It doesn't bother you to use an airport named for a man who died in an airplane crash. (TM: Will Rogers for anyone who doesn't get it)

13. Little smokies are something you serve only for special occasions.

14. You go to the lake because you think it is like going to the ocean.

15. You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.

16. You know cow pies are not made of beef.

17. Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their wedding date.

18. You have known someone who has had one belt buckle bigger than your fist.

19. A bad traffic jam involves two cars staring each other down at a four-way stop, each determined to be the most polite and let the other go first.

20. You know in which state Miam-uh is and in which state Miam-ee is.

21. You aren't surprised to find movie rental, ammunition, and bait all in the same store.

22. Your "place at the lake" has wheels under it.

23. A Mercedes Benz is not a status symbol. A Ford F350 4x4 is a GT.

24. You know everything goes better with Ranch.

25. You learned how to shoot a gun before you learned how to multiply.

26. You actually get these jokes and are "fixin" to send them to your friends.

Finally, you are 100% Oklahoman if you have ever heard this conversation:

"You wanna coke?" "Yeah." "What kind?" "Dr. Pepper."

Okay, I've kept you in suspense long enough. The major objection is this, as some of you may have already guessed, anyone who calls himself an "Oklahoman", definately ain't 100% Okie! An "Oklahoman" is a newspaper that some of us subscribe to, and some of us don't, published in "the City."